Some parents view their divorces like they’re experiencing a “train wreck,” and they’re the conductors at the center of it all. The stress and emotional mayhem that ensues when parents don’t find their emotional centers during their marital breakups can be difficult to manage. It can also cause them to forget that other people — namely, their children –- are suffering as a result of the divorce just as much, if not more. However, they don’t have the most articulate ways of expressing their emotions.
Here are a few things to remember to help you provide the right kind of support for your children during a divorce:
Your children will recover just like you: Psychological studies have tracked children from divided homes and found that within two years, the children have usually fully recovered from the marital split. However, during the immediate period after the divorce, parents may need to be patient with their children as they heal.
Let your children know you love them: It helps for parents to remind their children how much they love them (and will always love them) in the wake of a divorce. Children may feel insecure, as if they caused the divorce themselves or as if their parents could stop loving them one day as well. It’s important to reassure your kids that you’ll always be there for them, and the divorce was something strictly between their parents and didn’t have anything to do with them.
Offer your children patience and understanding: Parents must be patient with their children who may act out and be rude or even be hateful to them. Parents who take the high road and act like adults will do their children the greatest service.
Do you want to navigate your divorce in a peaceful way that has a minimum impact on your children? Learn about your options for out-of-court divorce settlements and ways to reach a diplomatic resolution.