Riverside California Family Law Blog

If you're in the throes of a contentious divorce and child custody process, you probably have a lot of questions -- and divorce misconceptions -- running through your mind. These questions will probably be imbued with hurt feelings, even anger, at the way your spouse has treated you during your breakup. With this in mind, here are three common child custody questions for which litigants sometimes don't have clear answers:

I feel like my husband abandoned me and the children when he had an affair. Will the family law judge agree and give me full child custody?

There are a variety of reasons why spouses need to pay alimony. For one, it could be the law that you or your spouse must pay alimony in your divorce case -- particularly if you've been married for an extended period of time and one spouse's capacity to earn an income is particularly less than the other's. Beyond the law, however, there's an important logic behind alimony laws.

From a certain perspective, one might argue that no one should have to pay for the life and livelihood of another. We should all be personally responsible for ourselves and our financial well-being. As beautiful as this notion is, the reality is quite different. Imagine two spouses marry and one spouse is economically disadvantaged compared to the other spouse. By marrying the moneyed spouse, the lesser-moneyed spouse will increase his or financial security; he or she could even become financially dependent on the moneyed spouse and stop working altogether.

Many victims of domestic violence do not realize that they are being victimized. They are just too consumed by their relationship, and the hope that things will get better, and they can't get an objective read on the situation. In fact, it can take years of abuse before a victim wakes up to the fact that he or she has the right to protect him- or herself by leaving the relationship. Even then, once the decision has been made, it could be dangerous to try to leave a violent spouse.

Fortunately, most victims of domestic violence will be able to obtain a restraining order -- or order of protection -- to protect themselves from further harm. Here are a few of the things that might be included in your protective order:

• No contact provision: A protective order will prevent your ex from texting, calling, emailing, attacking, stalking, disturbing or hitting you.
• Peaceful contact provision: This provision may allow your abuser to get in touch with you in only very specific circumstances, like child visitation transfers.
• Stay away provision: This indicates the distance in feet or yards that the abuser must maintain from the victim and his or her home, work or school.
• Move out provision: This provision makes it so the abuser has to move away from the home.
• Counseling provision: This provision requires the abuser to go to counseling or anger management classes.

Keeping a journal of your parenting activities is a great way to safeguard your parental rights. If the other parent challenges your parental rights in court by falsely accusing you of not being involved or being a negligent parent, you can use your parenting journal entries to prove your commitment and dedication to your children as one of their primary caretakers.

If you can see the benefit of using a parenting journal like this, here are a few things to keep in mind: