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What to Do After Being Served with Divorce Papers in California

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 17:28:56 GMT

What to Do After Being Served with Divorce Papers in California

Being served with divorce papers can be an overwhelming and emotional experience. If you have recently received divorce documents in California, it is important to understand that you have rights and responsibilities that must be addressed promptly. Taking the right steps early on can help protect your interests and set the tone for the rest of the divorce process. At Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law, we provide legal assistance to individuals in the Riverside area who are navigating divorce and family law matters.

Stay Calm and Review the Documents Carefully

The first step after being served is to carefully read all the paperwork you received. These documents typically include a summons and a petition for dissolution of marriage. The petition outlines what your spouse is requesting, such as property division, child custody, child support, or spousal support.

The summons contains important legal instructions, including deadlines you must follow. Ignoring or misunderstanding these documents can lead to serious consequences, so take time to review them thoroughly.

Pay Attention to Deadlines

In California, you generally have 30 days from the date you were served to file a response with the court. Failing to respond within this timeframe can result in a default judgment, meaning the court may grant your spouse what they requested without your input.

Meeting deadlines is critical in divorce proceedings. Even if you are unsure how you want to proceed, filing a timely response preserves your right to participate in the case.

Consider Your Legal Options

After reviewing the documents, it is important to evaluate your situation and determine how you want to move forward. You may agree with some or all of your spouse’s requests, or you may want to contest certain issues.

Divorce cases can involve complex matters such as property division, debt allocation, and parenting arrangements. Understanding your legal options early on can help you make informed decisions about your future.

File a Response with the Court

To officially participate in the divorce process, you must file a response (Form FL-120) with the court and serve a copy on your spouse. This document allows you to state your position on the issues raised in the petition.

Filing a response ensures that your voice is heard and that you have the opportunity to negotiate or litigate important matters.

Gather Financial and Personal Information

Divorce proceedings often require full financial disclosure. Begin gathering documents such as bank statements, tax returns, pay stubs, and information about assets and debts. This will help you prepare for negotiations and ensure compliance with California’s disclosure requirements.

If children are involved, you should also start organizing information related to their needs, schedules, and expenses.

Avoid Emotional Decisions

Divorce can be emotionally charged, but making decisions based on anger or frustration can lead to unfavorable outcomes. It is important to remain focused on practical solutions that protect your long-term interests.

Taking a thoughtful and measured approach can help you achieve a more stable and fair resolution.

Seek Legal Guidance

Navigating a divorce on your own can be challenging, especially when legal and financial issues are involved. Working with an attorney can help you understand your rights, meet court requirements, and develop a strategy tailored to your situation.

At Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law, we assist clients in Riverside with divorce proceedings, helping them move forward with clarity and confidence.

3 times your family will need to update its custody order | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Fri, 21 Jan 2022 16:51:00 GMT

The parenting plan you mutually drafted or the custody order created by a California family law judge largely determines your parental rights after a divorce. Parents sharing custody after a divorce will need to defer to the existing custody order when it comes to sharing parenting time and making major decisions about the children.

Eventually, you will need to update or modify your existing custody order to make it better reflect your family’s circumstances. When do families typically need to revisit their custody arrangements?

When a child is old enough to start school

Children who are no longer infants can often enjoy very close to 50/50 shared custody arrangements between their parents. Even if one parent moves away from the family home, they can spend alternating weeks with each parent for the first few years of their lives.

Equally sharing custody when the parents live far apart will be much harder once the children reach school age . At that time, proximity to the school that they attend will likely influence custody arrangements and require that the parents make some changes. Neighborhoods and school districts may influence living arrangements for years to come.

When the parents have changes to their situations

Parental situations have a strong impact on the ability of each adult to meet the needs of the children. If a parent starts a new job with a different shift or begins a new relationship that requires that they move to a different residence, those changes can affect how the parents share parental responsibilities.

If either parent will soon change their living arrangements, household circumstances or employment, then a custody modification may be necessary to accommodate those changes.

When the children have new needs

Sometimes, something unexpected happens. Your child gets into a car accident and requires more support than they did before. Other times, it is perfectly predictable that your teenage child will want to start a part-time job and join school sports.

As the needs of your children change, the arrangements in your parenting plan may need to change as well. Recognizing that you have not fully addressed issues like sports, dating or a part-time job may require that you update your parenting plan.

Knowing when to make changes to your shared custody arrangements will make co-parenting easier.

Home abandonment: Not simply moving out of the marital home | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 20:28:00 GMT

In divorce, one of the things you may want to discuss is the topic of abandonment. When a spouse suddenly moves out of the home and has been out of the home for several months or years, does that constitute abandonment? If so, how does that affect your case?

Leaving the home is not necessarily enough to constitute abandonment in California. Marital abandonment happens when one spouse severs all ties with the other and has no intention of returning. If your spouse is still taking care of financial obligations or meeting with you to discuss the divorce or other matters, then moving out likely will not constitute abandonment.

Leaving the home isn’t necessarily abandonment

While leaving the home could be home abandonment in cases where the spouse no longer contacts the other and refuses to offer support, this is not particularly common. To use abandonment as a ground for divorce, you will need to show that the other party is not contacting you, is not honoring financial obligations to your marriage and otherwise refuses to participate in the marriage or divorce.

So long as your spouse is willing to pay child support, spousal support, cover shared marital costs and handle other aspects of your relationship while separated, the court is unlikely to state that they have committed any type of abandonment.

You have a right to move out if your home is uncomfortable for you

There is no rule that you and your spouse have to live together during your marriage or divorce. Legally speaking, it is necessary to have a period of separation before you divorce, so it makes sense for one of you to live somewhere else. Additionally, if abuse or violence took place in the home, then abandonment would be justified in most circumstances.

Abandonment is a highly specific issue that required a set amount of time to pass. Additionally, that abandonment needs to be permanent. If your spouse truly leaves without giving you any information about where they’ve gone or stops making payments and cannot be contacted, then you may be in a position to claim abandonment. Until then, it is unlikely to be used in your case.

3 times it’s reasonable to ask for a child custody modification | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 19:23:00 GMT

Married parents divorce, and unmarried parents split up even after years together. When they do, they have to reach an arrangement regarding the custody of their children.

A parenting plan or custody order explains what responsibilities each parent has to the children in the family. Typically, both parents have to carefully comply with a custody order unless they make arrangements with one another to deviate from the order.

Eventually, the division of custody and other rules in your parenting plan may no longer fit your family’s needs. At that point, you might need to go back to court to ask for a custody modification. What are some of the common situations when a parent needs to modify a custody order?

After a change in the family schedule

Did the children just graduate from daycare to kindergarten? Have you just taken a job that will put you on first shift instead of second shift?

When the family schedule changes significantly, the custody order may also need to change. Adjusting the division of parenting time or when each parent has access to the children can help ensure the parenting plan upholds the best interests of the children even as family circumstances change.

After a change in one parent’s behavior

Sometimes, the courts will limit how much parenting time they offer one adult. Maybe they didn’t have their own apartment yet and so could not host the children overnight. Perhaps they struggle with drug or alcohol issues that might lead to them neglecting the children. When one parent makes a concerted effort to improve their circumstances and become a better parent, that might lead to a successful modification request that gives them more parenting time.

On the other hand, a parent concerned because they see their ex engaging in abusive or negligent behavior toward the children may have no choice but to go back to the courts and ask for the courts to limit how much time their ex has with the children.

When the needs of the children change drastically

A custody order for a breastfed newborn will be substantially different than the custody order for a weaned 2-year-old. The needs of a child could change dramatically if they fall severely ill with a long-term condition or suffer an injury in a car crash. When the needs of the children in the family change, the custody order will have to shift as well to reflect those new circumstances.

Recognizing that your custody order no longer suits your children’s needs could lead to a modification hearing.

How to legally take your child out of the country after divorce | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 19:29:00 GMT

When you have a family that doesn’t live in the same country as you, it makes sense to want to take your children to visit them. However, there have been times where parents have gone to other countries with their children and failed to return, which is why many parents are wary about allowing their children to go out of the state or country without them.

If you are divorced, you may think that you’re going to be stuck in America and have to have your family come to you, but you actually may be able to take your children out of the country as long as you get written permission and approval to do so.

Good communication is a key issue in multinational cases

It is helpful for you and the other parent to sit down and talk about what you want. If you would like to take your children to see your family in Mexico, for example, you should get together with the other parent and include them in the conversation. Ask if they are comfortable with you taking your kids out of the country. Your ex-spouse might suggest that they could also come along to be cautious, or they may ask that you provide a full itinerary and contact information before you go.

If your spouse is uncomfortable with you going out of the country with your kids , you need to ask yourself why that might be. If you want to make them more comfortable with the idea, it would be worth setting up plans to help them see that you only want to go temporarily and that you will return with your children.

If the other parent refuses to allow your children to leave the country, you do have options. You may go to court to ask the judge to rule and modify your custody agreement if you feel that your children need to leave the country to see family or to experience their culture while they’re young. You might also fight for primary custody if the other parent is trying to prohibit you from seeing your children and taking them on a trip despite agreeing that it would be allowed in your original custody agreement.

This can be a touchy subject, but it’s possible to find a resolution.

What can you do to move with your child after divorce? | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Thu, 26 Aug 2021 17:19:00 GMT

After a divorce, it can be normal for parents to find new jobs and new opportunities. After all, living as a single parent, they need to do all they can to make ends meet and to be sure that they are providing for their children.

If you have been offered a new job or would like to complete schooling in a new area or new state, you might be concerned about staying with your child and how your decision could affect your custody arrangements. Since most parents in California share custody, you may find that your decision to move could negatively impact your custody schedule .

If you want to move, can you take your child?

Under some circumstances, you may be able to move and maintain your current custody arrangements with the other parent. For example, if you’ll be moving a half-hour or hour away from where you currently are and you generally have custody time on the weekends, you may still be able to maintain that schedule despite having a longer commute to see your child. The same would be true if you moved only a short distance away, such as into a new nearby neighborhood

In other circumstances, you may need to ask for adjustments to help you see your child as often as you’d like. For instance, if you’re moving to a new area of California to take a better job that will give you more time to spend with your child, you could ask to take your child with you. If the school is better, you have a greater support system and your job will also be better, it may be a good opportunity for your child, too.

You should keep in mind the other parent’s feelings and rights when you look into moving away. In most cases, they will have the right to see your child and may fight against you moving away. It’s helpful if you can both agree on new arrangements. If not, then you may find yourself involved in a custody dispute that requires a court’s intervention. Sit down and talk about the opportunity, so you can decide on what to do with the other parent’s input.

Could a parental kidnapping be on the horizon? | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 16:26:00 GMT

When your ex-spouse isn’t following your court-ordered custody schedule and you have to nag them to bring your children home, that’s a big red flag that there could be something more serious about to occur. Parental kidnapping is an issue that some parents end up dealing with when a parent who is unhappy with a custody agreement decides to take the law into their own hands.

With parental kidnapping, the parent who wants to keep the children away from the other parent may flee with those children and refuse to return them to the other parent. They may stay within or go outside of the United States.

It’s important for you to know the signs that parental kidnapping could occur so that you can protect your children against it.

What is parental kidnapping?

Parental kidnapping is when one parent takes their children, without permission, away from the other parent with no intention of returning them. They may take them to an undisclosed place nearby or far away. In any case, the victimized parent does not know where their children are and may have little or no contact with them by phone or other digital means.

What are the signs of a potential parental kidnapping?

Parental kidnapping doesn’t usually happen out of nowhere. There tend to be signs that you can look for. For example, the other parent may:

Suddenly get your children passports or visas for another country
Get copies of important documents for your children, such as medical or school records
Consistently bring your children home late or refuse to bring them back on time
Threaten that they will take your kids away from you
Have no job or be independently wealthy
Have the ability to flee to other cities, states or countries with community support

If there are red flags in your parenting relationship and you know that the other parent has the ability to flee with your kids, you may want to look into a custody modification. You may build a case and ask that the custody time with your children is supervised, for example, so that you can better protect your children.

If you suspect that the parent has kidnapped your children, call 911 and alert the authorities. Then, get to know more about your legal rights to bring them home.

Update your custody order to reflect your ex’s no-show habits | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Tue, 25 May 2021 17:52:00 GMT

The custody order set by a judge or agreed on by you and your ex determines how much time you get to spend with your children. Your custody order controls everything from how far you can travel during a family vacation to how much child support you receive, as the division of parenting time directly relates to the financial obligations of the parents.

When your ex stops showing up for parenting time, you probably want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe their job has become more demanding or their schedule has changed. Your willingness to work with your ex and put your children first can protect the relationship with their other parent even when that parent doesn’t prioritize a connection with the kids.

However, when cancellations or no-shows become a standard part of your custody-sharing arrangements, it may be time to ask for a modification.

The California courts can and will revise existing custody orders

Your family circumstances can change in an instant, requiring that you revise your custody arrangements. Either parent can request a custody modification under California law.

Both can agree to certain terms and file an uncontested modification request. If they don’t agree, they can pursue contested proceeding s, much like with divorce filings. The judge will look at the family circumstances and the documentation provided by the parents to decide if a change to the custody order is in the best interest of the children.

An order that reflects your daily life better supports the children

There is no question that having a parent who doesn’t show up for visitation can be emotionally damaging for children. It is hard for a kid of any age not to internalize the rejection that comes with a parent not arriving for their scheduled parenting time. Such disappointment and rejection can be hard enough when it happens once, but when it happens over and over, the child will inevitably start to think it is their fault that their parent doesn’t want to come.

Abandonment and rejection can cause emotional damage. The destabilization of their schedule can also cause issues for children and parents alike. You can’t make arrangements for your own career or medical needs if you never know when you will be child-free.

Asking for a custody modification can make sense for your family if your ex has stopped showing up. A reduction of their parenting time might be enough to motivate them to start showing up for future parenting sessions.

3 red flags for parental alienation | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Tue, 20 Apr 2021 23:07:00 GMT

Parental alienation is a troubling issue. With parental alienation, children are essentially turned against one of their parents due to the actions of the other. In around 10% to 15% of divorces and separations, the children involved in those cases resist spending time with one of their parents, even if it is safe for them to do so.

Not every case like this is a sign of parental alienation , but it can be a cause for concern when your child suddenly begins acting differently. To recognize if alienation may be to blame, here are three things to look for.

Sudden changes in behavior

One big sign of alienation is having a child suddenly change their behaviors. For example, if a child who was excited to see their mom or dad last week shifts and shuts down while saying they no longer want to go, it’s important to get down to the root cause. Did their mom or dad say something negative about the other parent? Did they promise them something if they didn’t go to see the other parent? Watch out for these sudden behavior changes and address them immediately when they occur.

Making big promises

Making big promises to your child can easily be a sign of alienation tactics. For instance, if your ex-spouse wanted more custody but did not get what they wanted, then they may start suggesting that your child asks to stay with them more. They may promise more snacks, vacations, toys or other items to them for stating that they want to live there.

Vague excuses for missed custody dates

Finally, watch out for vague excuses for missed custody dates . Whether the other parent is trying to manipulate their time or your child is making excuses with no real support, this could be a sign of alienation that you should address.

If parental alienation takes hold, it can take a long time to help a child understand what happened. This kind of emotional manipulation could have a negative impact on them for life, so it’s important to look into seeking psychiatric assistance and guidance from your attorney.

Debt: the other side of the coin in property division | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 13:51:00 GMT

An important part of getting divorced in California is dividing the community property: figuring out what to do with the house, the car, the bank accounts and other valuable assets. The other part of property division is something that people in Riverside may not think about as much but is at least as important to get right: dividing up the debt.

Splitting up debt in a Riverside divorce

In California, community property refers to a married couple’s assets, but it also includes debts the couple acquired during the marriage. Often, these include things like the mortgage on the couple’s house, auto loans and credit card balances. For business owners, community debts might also include a business loan.

Community or separate debt?

As a community property state, California law generally requires community debts to be split 50/50. However, if one spouse can prove that the debt is separate property, the burden will go to the other spouse only. In many divorces, disagreements over what is and is not community property can take a while to resolve and may require a trial.

Trial is rarely necessary

Of course, few divorces end up going that far. The vast majority of divorcing couples settle out of court. An experienced divorce attorney can help you seek a reasonable solution to the property division question. One strategy is for one spouse to assume more of the debt in exchange for also keeping a larger share of the community property. Another common tactic people do is to require the spouse who is assuming a debt to refinance it (if it is a mortgage) or do a balance transfer to a new loan that is in that spouse’s name alone. That way, the creditor cannot pursue payment from the other spouse if the first spouse ever defaults on the loan.

Finding a creative, workable solution tailored to your individual needs is the job of any high-quality divorce attorney.

Is keeping the house in a divorce always a good thing? | Stacy Albelais, Attorney at Law

Thu, 25 Mar 2021 22:39:00 GMT

For most people, their house is their most significant asset. And in the event of a divorce, it can be one of the most contentious community assets to divide.

Often, people focus on keeping the home. They might even give up several other assets so that they can be the person who exits the divorce with a house. However, keeping a house is not always the right decision, and in some cases, it can be a financially impossible option.

The benefits of keeping your home

Staying in your home after a divorce can be particularly beneficial to people who prioritize consistency. For instance, custodial parents often want to stay in their home for their child’s sake. And people who run businesses out of their home or live in a particularly desirable area may not want to leave.

Also, staying in your home means you can avoid the stress of packing and moving, on top of the stress of divorce.

When it is not right – or possible

Despite the benefits of keeping a home, it could be best to sell your home or let your ex hold on to it.

Financial obligation can be the biggest drawback to keeping your home in a divorce. You will likely need to refinance your mortgage so that your loan is in your name alone, and you could find that you do not qualify for the same type of loan on your own.

You will also need to maintain the home and pay the bills. Consider these expenses when you are thinking about keeping your home. Can you afford to replace a water heater if yours breaks? Do you know how much your monthly utility bills are? What will your finances look like after the divorce?

It is also worth noting that while staying in a marital home can seem attractive in theory, in reality, it could be emotionally distressing. Staying there can make it difficult to put a difficult chapter behind you, whereas moving can help you make a fresh start.

The big picture

Remember that your home is just one asset and one piece of the property division puzzle. Before you make any firm decisions, take a look at the bigger picture. Work with your attorney to negotiate a property settlement that best suits you now and in the future.

Dishonesty is a major reason for divorce

Sat, 27 Apr 2019 21:24:13 GMT

Divorce does not always have to be dramatic. You hear plenty of stories about spouses who are unfaithful to the marriage, for instance, and that does lead to divorce, but most cases happen for far more “minor” reasons. One of those reasons is simply dishonesty.

In some cases, the spouse who lies does it about something huge and important. Maybe they have a gambling problem and they mortgage the house to pay for it. They lie about where they’re going and how they’re spending money. Eventually, the truth comes out when they lose the house.

However, experts note that “ white lies ” can also chip away at a marriage. One person may think it’s not a big deal to lie about minor purchases, for example, or to lie and say they have to work late when they want to spend time with friends. They tell these small lies all the time, and they get defensive when they get caught.

While their spouse is probably not going to divorce them after the first one, it takes a toll over time. Eventually, the other person feels like there is just no trust left. What is true? What is a lie? Can they ever trust the other person, or do they have to question every single thing they say — even when they’re being honest? A relationship like that is tough to keep alive and well.

If you and your spouse decide to get divorced , no matter what it is that leads you to that decision, make sure you know how to protect all of your legal rights.

Why is it hard to adopt in California?

Fri, 01 Sep 2017 21:22:19 GMT

If you want to adopt, one of the ways you can do so is through the foster care system. Some people believe that this is one of the most difficult ways to adopt, and it can be depending on the child and his or her circumstances. One major hurtle in California comes down to funding, though. If the agencies are not funded well, it can be hard to get a hold of the people you need to talk to for the finalization of adoption or to become a foster parent.

In one man’s story from 2011, he said it took close to two years to be able to adopt a child. He said the problem didn’t come from the private agency but instead the public agency that was lacking funding. Phone calls were not returned, paperwork was processed slowly and that meant a long wait to adopt a child.

California also has a county-specific foster care program. To foster a child from one of the other counties is difficult, and what might be fast in one county is extremely slow in another. That’s a problem for parents and waiting children alike.

If this kind of bureaucracy is holding you back, there are some ways to get around it. Some private agencies have offices around the state, which can help you adopt across county lines. Having an advocate work in your best interests can help, too, since that person — an attorney in most cases — can push for answers and responses to your request to bring a child home. With the right help, you can push to make the process move faster.

Source: HuffPost, “ California Adoption — Why Is It So Hard to Adopt From Foster Care ?,” Jeff Katz, accessed Sep. 01, 2017